Next, we'll probably roll him a joint and hand him the car keys

Yes, it's true. Liam has a walker and we let him use it. Those of you who haven't lifted the phone to call Child Protective Services yet may not know that they are illegal in Canada. The walker was given to us by my friend Renee, who lives in Michigan. She has been a plethora o' baby goodies for us - bassinettes and Gyminis and Boppy pillows and, yes, the walker. And her three kids are all alive and well, despite the fact that her home has multiple staircases, so I am not too worried about it. We leave it on the main floor and close the door down to the basement when Liam approaches. We also stop boiling our pots of oil on the stove and pick up the assorted knives and daggers that are normally displayed on the coffee table when he uses it. And so far, he's alive and well, too.

The fact is that he much prefers the walker over the exersaucer, which basically serves the same function but is stationary rather than mobile. He enjoys scooting around. He enjoys using his legs. He enjoys gumming up those bears that are attached to it. And because we enjoy watching him use it, we keep a close eye on him as he does so. It's a win-win, I think.

Besides, I'm sure there will be other opportunities for you to call CPS on us, should you so desire. Like, maybe the fact that Liam is pants-less in these photos? (He got Farley biscuit all over them, and it was near the end of the day, and it was hot. So actually, you should cut us some slack there, too.)