Snakes in the house

The subtitle to this post is Man of the house part III. Chad is away on yet another jaunt, leaving Liam and I to hold down the fort. It seems like every time he has left us this month, something has broken (the stroller, the sump pump, etc.); so I am glad that this is the end of the business trips until the fall.

Part of holding down the fort this morning involved clearing the house of snakes. Prior to our trip to Chicago, we went out and bought an assortment of cheap little toys to amuse Liam on the plane. I picked up a couple of new board books. Chad picked up a package of about 20 assorted rubber snakes. Which was a pretty mean thing to do, given the inherent fear of snakes that most women have and me in particular. I admit that I am a lot better about them now than I used to be - largely owing to the repeated exposure I've received thanks to Chad (the only one I know who sets out on vacation with the declaration that not spotting a particular breed of snake while away will mark the whole trip as a failure) - but as far as I'm concerned, they still rank pretty far below puppies and kittens on the cuteness scale.

The problems with these snakes of Liam's are threefold. First, there's too many of them. Second, Liam likes them a lot, so they are always out. And third, they are way too freakin' realistic for my liking. We have coiled up snakes perching on the stairs, and sunbathing snakes stretched out on the sofa, and playful snakes hiding underneath discarded toys and clothes. Everywhere you go in my house, you come face to face with a snake.

I have (somewhat) gotten used to this, but whenever someone comes over, I always run around trying to get all the snakes out of view so that we don't scare the bejeesus out of them. Which is what I had to go back inside and do this morning, after I was already on my way out the door for work, when I realized that today is cleaning day and that Shirley would be coming over. Shirley is a small, older woman, very quiet and just about the nicest person you've ever met. I have this awful image in my head of her picking something up and finding a snake underneath it. And quitting on the spot.

And I have come to love having a cleaning lady way too much to let that happen.