Wednesday, October 21, 2009

10 ways you know you are in Houston... and one way you don't

10. Your local friends make you eat alligator.
9. There are more Spanish-language magazines at Borders than English.
8. Your business associate has a huge deer head he shot himself mounted on his office wall, and photos of bloody deer carcasses on display. I cannot imagine that kind of thing flying at home!
7. The iced tea is unsweetened.
6. Every building in sight is a sand-coloured stucco strip mall.
5. The other (local) shoppers at Ann Taylor Loft are all drooling over the wool sweaters that just came in, knowing that it will almost never get cold enough here for them to wear them. So you buy one. Because you will actually need it!
4. The weather forecast is calling for 6 inches of rain today and another 6 tomorrow. I am about to go out and buy a rubber dinghy but the locals do not get fazed until daily precipitation totals at least hit the double digits. That's in inches, folks.
3. When visiting your head office you pass "No Firearms Allowed" signage.
2. There are crowds of sunbathers out at the pool. In October.
1. You discuss your associate's next visit to your office. It will take place in mid-January. He starts asking you about the need for long johns, and you can tell that he is close to crying.


1. The Cheesecake Factory is every bit as good as I remembered it being!