Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
The heartbeat was still in the girl range. Dr. Kate says she is still rooting for a girl but thinking there's no way it won't be a boy - citing the large number of boys in Chad's family as the reason why. Yes, there's a lot of them, but that's not to say there are no girls at all; this heart rate thing totally has me convinced that Number Two is a girl. And I think part of why I'm convinced that it's a girl is because I'm totally nervous about having a girl. I love little boys. I think I have them figured out OK. I don't think I'll know what to do with a girl. Pathetic, huh? One more month til the big ultrasound that might reveal all... and I will be waiting for it with bated breath.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
This morning I immediately drafted an email to my professor to beg off the remaining group work required of the course, and he's agreed to let me do an individual assignment in lieu. And I didn't even have to pull out my I'm-pregnant-and-sick trump card to do it. Woot!
Tonight I joined a book club (I know... about 5 years after it became fashioable to do so), which is why I spent most of Sunday trying to cram in the last 200 pages of Sweetness in the Belly. It was slow to start, but thankfully quick to finish. And now that it's over, I am going to put a hold on all school-related and even school-like endeavours for a few days (because really, book club is a bit schoolish). I'm just going to play the part of the high-school dropout and kick back for now.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Saturday, September 23, 2006
(That's not Liam in the bottom photo - it's his buddy Ryan at the apple orchard. The blue eyes are really the only give-away.)
Friday, September 22, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
The idea behind staying at the hotel (besides always having wanted to try one of the old CP Railway hotels) was to do some hiking; there are trails that start right outside the hotel's back door. It snowed Friday night as we arrived at the hotel and was still overcast on Saturday morning, but at least we stayed dry as we hiked to the Plain of Six Glaciers. The trail first skirts the lake... here we are at the far end of it......then we started climbing into the mountains. You can still see the lake and a smudge of the hotel behind me. There's a tea house at the top of the trail where we stopped for some hot chocolate. It was a well deserved treat because we were the first ones up to the tea house that morning and had to break the trail through the snow ourselves.
Normally at this time of year in Banff/Lake Louise it is fall - it's colder than it would be at home, but the snow was still somewhat unexpected. Typically the area would just be bursting with fall colours right now - the snow is a bonus I guess.
Another view outside our hotel room window. For our anniverary dinner (still in Calgary) we had an amazing dinner - I had a big steak with jumbo shrimp, lobster butter and tarragon bearnaise sauce and smoked gruyere mashed potatoes - oh my, it was good. Like I said before... it was soup and salad for the rest of the weekend. :) Not too much else to report... lots of hiking... we spotted one elk, three mountain goats and also saw an avalanche in person (they sound exactly like thunder and my first thought, as we were 2.5 hours from the hotel at that point, was crap - we are going to get soaked.) Westjet now offers seatback TVs on its long haul flights so we were able to catch the season premiere of the Amazing Race on our trip back home, which made the time fly. We came home with a souvenir Christmas tree ornament, a t-shirt for Liam, and a stuffed animal for #2 who accompanied us - something by which to remember his/her first travelling adventure.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Speaking of which - for the first month, I was totally convinced this one is a girl. I have no idea why, and it shocked me, because I've always thought we will have all boys (and I would LOVE to have another boy). Lately I've lost that feeling, and now I could see it going either way. In fact, now I tend to refer to the baby as 'he' all the time. Not because I have an inkling that it's a boy... I think it's just that having a boy is all I've known. It's what I'm used to.
I am mostly over the nausea, but am still hungry all the time. Consequently I am also starting to show. (Just how much of it is baby and how much of it is food remains to be seen.) I wasn't into maternity clothes until 18 weeks with Liam, but I doubt I will be able to hold out that long this time. With Liam I never had any cravings whatsoever, but I seem to be addicted to Caesar salad right now (not so good for the potential raw egg content, but no ill effects so far) as well as soup of any and every kind. Aside from one glorious big steak dinner in Calgary, I had a soup and Caesar salad at every meal. What can I say... it's working for me.
Something that's NOT working for me right now: scrapbooking! Since the beginning of July I have only done 2 pages, this one included. I am woefully behind on Liam's album. I just haven't felt much like it recently (or had the time to get around to it, either). Hopefully once the nasty weather sets in and we are cooped up inside more, I will get my mojo (see - Austin Powers is taking over our lives) back.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
In the meantime, I just wanted to say Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day to everyone (it's amazing what you can find on the internet). Coming to you from Jolly Prudence - that's my honourary name for the day. Pirate Name Generator
Now, off to complete a pick-me-up online purchase... what do you think... this:...or this?...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Unfortunately my kiddo has acquired another new skill this month as well. Yesterday I pulled out his notebook to read what Cindy had written about his day, and it included this little tidbit: Natalie's parents noticed a mark on her arm and asked her about it, and she told them Liam bit her. I wish I could say I didn't buy this story, but that isn't true. For the past couple of weeks Liam has been biting us at home. Not in a vicious way, mind you, more as an experimental type of thing. We tell him no and that biting hurts, but I was still thinking he was too young to really get that. Well, after reading Cindy's note, I picked Liam up, looked him in the eye and said, "Liam, did you bite Natalie?" And with that he leaned into me and gave me a nip on the shoulder. (I take that as a resounding yes.) I'm not sure what to do about it other than to keep telling him no and not make too big a deal of it. I made the mistake early on of freaking out when Captain nips me on the ankle, and now he thinks it's a full-fledged game. And I don't want to screw up my kid the same way I ruined my cat.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
(It's written for her kids - how sweet is that? Liam may get a scrapbook and a stack o' photos, but he will never get a song from me!!)
It's a label I love having. One that, for a short time, I didn't. One that, even with a miscarriage and surgery and fertility drugs, I knew would one day come back; which was always at least in the back of my mind - we were fortunate to know from early on that, eventually, children should happen for us. Just that they wouldn't happen on our timeline. Which was heartbreaking enough; I truly ache for those for whom it will never be.
When you're dealing with infertility issues, all you want is to not be dealing with them. Watching other people sail through life with babes in arms or on the way sucked. I knew our day would come, but still - it sucked. We weren't exactly early starters in the race to have kids, but it bugged me that some of my friends had two or more before I even got one. No matter that it wasn't a race, nor that one certainly did not preclude the other - it bugged me. And if something so totally innocent as that bugged me, you can probably guess how I felt every time I heard about a baby on the way that - gasp! - wasn't planned. Oh, the horror. The practical side of me knew that an unplanned child could be every bit as much of a struggle as no baby at all; the emotional side of me said that these people knew no pain like mine. I wish I could say I was gracious through it all, but I can't. It's not that I wished difficulty on anyone else; just that I didn't like being reminded of my own.
Now it seems that I've crossed over to the dark side. I have one. I may have two before many others get one; I may have two while many others get only one, or none at all, ever, period. How does that make me feel? Considering my situation alone - wonderful. Considering the collective situation of us all - awkward. In the months and years leading up to Liam's arrival, I met a lot of people; people with situations like mine; people with situations far worse than mine. A lot of people I already knew and I met them for a second time as I got to know a side of them that wasn't often publicly shared. I consider these people to be my friends and yet know how hard it can be to remain friends when circumstances divide. I remember how bitter I often was to be the one left behind; now I'm the one kicking back clouds of dust.
To them, I have moved on, and that puts us on entirely different playing fields. But deep down, even waist-deep into building a family of my own, I don't feel like I'm entirely on par with the people who never knew what it was like to want a child and not have one. I don't think I will ever entirely feel there, whether I have one child or two or six. It's just that I will never forget that part of my life and what it felt like. I'm no longer infertile; but even with a uterus that currently seems up to the task of taking on tenants, I still don't feel fully fertile, either. I'm somewhere in between, and I'm hoping to retain a part of my membership in both groups... if only they will have me.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Yesterday I ran out to pick up a couple of things - went past the Halloween section, just to see what was out, and Liam fell in love with this cat, so it followed us home. I think Captain fell in love with it last night, too, because this morning it was knocked off the table and on the floor clear across the room.
If you have no idea what this thing is, rest assured that you're not alone. This week at Cindy's house it is The 5 Senses Week. Today the kids made Touch Cubes (if I remember correctly). Each side has a different texture on it, like sandpaper or soft fabric. The top of the cube is supposed to be covered in cereal, but Cindy wrote in Liam's notebook that he ate the rest of the pieces. Let's just hope they didn't have glue on them at the time.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
In a few days' time, though, I'm headed out to Calgary myself to hook up with Chad for our anniversary weekend in Banff. Our carefree travel days are over: this is the first vacation which has been preceded by me downloading, printing and filling out in detail a legal temporary guardianship document; and also the first vacation to be preceded by the drafting of a will. It's rudimentary at best, but hopefully will get the job done (did I just say hopefully in the same breath as will? Yikes.) We are flying out separately, so we just need to survive the single flight home together in order to not leave Liam orphaned. As luck would have it, different departure dates mean we will also be driving to and from the airport independently; and we all know we're much less likely to survive the drive home on the 401 than we are the airborne leg of the trip, so the chances of at least one of us making it out alive are hopefully pretty good.
Also, speaking of leaving our carefree days behind - Calgary is currently 10-15 degrees warmer than it is here, but there's a cold front coming through on the weekend that's expected to dump a ton of snow. So to say that packing will be challenging is an understatement. I'm not so sure that our hiking plans will survive; we may need to consider snowshoeing instead.
Most of my evening hours this week will be spent getting Liam packed up and ready to spend next weekend with Gramma and Grampa Cook. This is an undertaking in and of itself; in addition to the wardrobe and neverending supply of diapers (in two sizes, no less, one for daytime and one for overnight), there is also the question of which toys and how many to take to help him feel most at home, the issue of double-checking that secondary car seat to make sure it is fit for use, and the detailed instructions regarding routines and food preferences and every conceivable occurrence. By the time I get away from here, I will have earned that vacation. My first day will be spent lounging around the hotel in Calgary until Chad finishes his business and we can pack up for Banff. You can bet that I will be sleeping in and loving every minute of it.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
It was not ten minutes later that I was in the washroom on 4th floor, as our 5th floor washrooms are currently out of service, and ran into someone that I don’t see on a regular basis (though I swear that I HAVE seen her at some point during the last six months). Oh, she said, are you back now? It took me a minute to register… you mean back from my maternity leave? And then we got into an entire discussion about maternity leaves and how long they are now compared to how long they used to be. I found it totally ironic that this discussion was occurring on the very day that I was announcing my intention to take a second leave and she was still talking about the first. I didn’t say anything to her about it; I hadn’t told the rest of my immediate department yet, and wasn’t considering it official news until that was done – plus, I think I would have floored her. She ended the conversation by saying she had seen a copy of Liam’s birth announcement and loved it and left with a parting comment about what will I ever do in that regard for (in-her-mind-still-hypothetical) #2.
Hmmm. I’ll have to add that to my to-do list.
(Telling the rest of my coworkers was much easier; a couple boxes of doughnuts and muffins this morning, and they were won over...)
Props go out to www.buycostumes.com, who not only had Liam's Halloween costume here within 4 days, but also somehow managed to skirt the customs office so I was not slapped with any duty or GST. Woot!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
While this is all terribly exciting for us, it's still early - as in still-first-trimester early, as in been-here-before-and-know-what-it's-like-when-it-doesn't-work-out early. So send me your sticky baby vibes, and we'll continue to proceed cautiously for the next couple of weeks.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Baby... you are gonna miss that plane!
Getting freebies like this is a total blessing - it totally helps defray the cost and guilt of life's other expenses. Chad took Liam out yesterday to buy some new fall shoes. It was cold enough that I wondered whether his feet would freeze if I put him in his sandals (and then, having no plan B, did it anyway) - so it was high time to broaden his footwear horizons. Chad picked him up a super cool little pair of retro leather running shoes that satisfy his (Chad's) need for fashion and my need for something to appropriately support the little dude's arches. Would you believe this was accomplished at Payless? I had no idea Payless carried name brand, reputable shoes - I thought they were merely the home of the $10 pleather special. I stand corrected. In the past week I have also picked up several fleecy new pairs of footed pajamas. It has been ages since Liam wore anything other than a onesie to bed, but I am pretty sure those days are over, at least for this year, and if there's one place where you can't cheat and squeeze your kid into something that's a little too small for him - it's the footed pajama.
The shoes and pajamas were necessary expenses - but there have also been some recent ones of the more frivolous variety. Such as the Fisher Price Little People Airplane that recently followed me home. There's also a super cute little Halloween costume shipping out to our house for Liam in the next couple of weeks. It was more than I think is necessary to spend on Halloween, but he does have a full dress-up day of daycare to attend this year to make it worthwhile, in addition to trick-or-treating, and I figure after we've gotten our use out of it we can eBay it - the same costume in sold-out sizes is currently listed at three times what I paid for it retail. Let's just hope it fits when it gets here.
(Photos are down again - good grief - is there no end to this??)
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
When Liam was a newborn, he was all Chad. Did not look one whit like me. As he has grown I think he has resembled me more and more, and now people typically say he looks like me in the face (especially around the eyes) but with Chad's hair colouring. Most people say this... except that on our road trip last week, there were a couple of instances when waitresses or salesclerks or other strangers asked, with Chad in the immediate vicinity, where Liam got his red hair. I know Chad is not a flaming redhead the way he was in his youth anymore... but surely this is a question that didn't need to be asked???