Say it ain't so

I knew this day was coming, but even so - I can't believe it's already here. This is the sign out front of our local public school. In a couple more weeks, it will be time to register Liam for school.

You know what I'm going to say, that I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday and can't believe that it's already time to ship him off to an institute of higher learning. I think part of my problem with acknowledging the passage of time is that I don't feel any older myself. I see high school girls on the street and I almost feel like I am still one of them. How can I possibly be old enough to have a school-aged child when I can clearly remember starting kindergarten myself?

I have worried about sending Liam to school ever since he was a baby. How well I recall that first year when we would walk into a family gathering, someone would come up to say hello and he would burst into tears. How, I wondered, is he ever going to fare in this world without me? He's such a quiet and sensitive little thing, so hesitant to speak up when he needs something. I couldn't picture him answering a teacher's questions or asking to use the bathroom when he needs to. I couldn't even picture him giving his name when asked, he's so bashful at times.

Having him in skating and swimming lessons this winter has allayed some of those fears. I've seen him willingly run off from me to join his class and take direction from someone he doesn't know. I still have some fears; he's not the plucky type of kid who's going to initiate his own friendships, so I hope there are some plucky kids out there who think he looks like good friend material. Social situations can be heartbreaking sometimes, and if his little heart gets broken, then mine will be positively shattered.

Even though it's time to register him now, it will be 8 more months before school starts, and when you are only 3 years old a lot can happen in 8 months. And who knows... maybe I'm not giving him enough credit. He's a smart cookie, after all, and he may take to school like nobody's business. I will still sit here for the next several months though, wringing my hands and worrying about him. I'm his mom, after all. It's my job.