My comeuppance

Having read many baby books, I knew the day was coming, but that didn't make its arrival any easier. Liam has done a complete about-face and has taken a strong disliking to me. Seriously. I seem to be unable to do anything that makes him happy these days. Not playing with him, reading stories, taking him out places - nothing. Chad, on the other hand, walks on water. Chad comes in the door at night and Liam lights up like a firecracker, which lends very little credibility to the stories I tell Chad about what a little pill his son has been with me all day long. They say that this is simply the result of being too accessible to your little guy, being his primary caregiver 24/7. Because he's not always available, Chad is fresh and exciting and new. All completely normal. I used to get pitiful looks whenever I changed Liam's clothes or wiped his nose of did any of the many other things that he dislikes. Now he seems to dislike every moment of every day, except for these same said moments, which he now outright hates.

You'd think, then, that I should be enjoying this process of finding daycare, looking forward to the time when I will also be somewhat inaccessible and may therefore regain my star billing. Not so. Why does the very thought of calling a daycare provider to ask if they have any spaces open make me cry? There are a list of reasons why I want to work, and although I would love to continue spending my days with Liam, I think the long term benefits of me working outweigh that desire. And with the recent turn of events, I think a little separation would be a good thing for both of us. The daycare people are once again throwing me for a loop though, saying I am still calling too early for them to be able to say whether they have an opening for us or not. I did manage to cross one name off my list, as I spoke to her today and she had seven children under her care (the legal limit being five). But this is something I would like to nail down in the near term, and I don't seem to be getting any closer to doing that.

I do (thankfully) have one victory to report in the midst of all this doom and gloom. I made some more homemade baby food today - pears this time - and he likes it! He's eating it! Good thing too, or else I'd have felt like an idiot. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice...