The numbers game

Last week I was talking to a friend, who also has an infant and who is also a mother of one, and we were comparing notes on how many kids we think we might like to have and what sort of timing we'd like for those next in line. She said that before she had kids, she thought she wanted three; when her first was born, she decided two would be fine; and now, close to a year later, she thinks that one is enough for her family. When she said this I was at first surprised and then, after consideration, not all that surprised after all. I think a lot of people have one kid and then say they want to have six, because of the joy the child brings them; but then reality sets in. I mean, having kids is a LOT of work. Last night I got an hour to work on Liam's scrapbook (which, second only to photography, is pretty much my favourite hobby right now) for the first time in weeks. That's it - one hour, out of weeks, spent doing something that I wanted to do. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy things like playing with Liam, and going to the gym, and decorating the urns on the front porch for Christmas - but those things are also necessities, things I would feel obligated to do whether I enjoyed doing them or not. In January I am going back to school - just one course per term, but the thought still makes me worry - when will I fit it in? Don't even get me started on the prospect of going back to work. So to think about layering another kid into the mix... it's not a decision to be made lightly. I get where my friend is coming from.

I still think I want another kid someday, which brings me to another conversation I had last week - one of the trainers at the gym stopped me to ask when #2 is coming. I knew these questions would start eventually, but I also thought I would at least make it to Liam's birthday before they did. My answer to her was basically MYOB. I (we) have a general idea of when I (we) would like to expand, but it's not open for discussion; and if there's one thing that I of all people has learned, it's that you can't always make things happen when you want them to. It's certainly not going to happen tomorrow. From a practical point of view, if I were to get pregnant tomorrow then I'd have to cut my current maternity leave short in order to even qualify for EI benefits with #2. But I also look at Liam and, though I lament how quickly he's growing, he is still just a baby; how can I even think about #2 when I am still so totally and completely absorbed in #1?? We need a little more 'us' time before I will feel ready to move on.

And, on top of that, our family is expanding in other ways. The word is out that Liam is expecting a new little Robinson (Robilton?) cousin next May. (He's positive that it's a girl, by the way.) I hope that it will be our time again someday, but for now it's their time, and that's plenty to look forward to. (He may not look happy for you here, Steph and Mike, but he is... really.)