The portrait that doesn't exist

Liam has only had one professional portrait taken in his entire life. That was when he was about two months old (we did not even get visited by the hospital photographer when he was born) and Canadian Baby Photographers came to our house to do a session with him. I was only in it for my free 5x7 and didn't buy anything - package prices started around $260 and rose from there, and I am way too cheap for that. But I had to admit that the photographer did a smashing job of getting Liam to smile and even to sit completely upright on his own for the split second needed to fire off each frame - he looks like he did a better job of sitting as a two month old than he does now at six months!

Fast forward to the beginning of September. I booked an appointment at the Sears portrait studio for Liam's half-birthday. Sooner or later, the kid deserves some more professional pics, right? And I just can't get him to smile for the camera at home. I am worried that he will have a tooth before we know it, and we'll never have caught that gummy little grin for posterity. I was also thinking of Megan, who has albums full of photos from her girls' first year that are gorgeous - far superior to what I thought a place like Sears would do. I had high expectations. Spent Thursday morning carefully timing Liam's nap, dressing him nicely, smoothing down his cowlicks and even skipping our weekly swim - all in the pursuit of a nice photograph.

Well, the whole thing was a disaster from start to finish. The girl taking the pictures was about sixteen. She couldn't make Liam smile. When he did smile, he was looking at the ground (a pose that, frankly, I get enough of at home - see photo attached). He was more interested in playing with the backdrop and his shoes than looking at her collection of toys, or the toys that I brought with us. The photos she did take had horrible shadows and weren't even centred nicely. Because they were done digitally, I asked if they could crop them - and she said no. After about half an hour of this, Liam fell over and bumped his head. He didn't cry, but wound up with a bright red welt on his forehead. That was the end of the photo shoot. We left empty-handed. They waived the sitting fee so we weren't out any money, just the time and frustration of it all.

And then I had to eat crow, because Chad was opposed to the idea of the studio photos from the very beginning, saying we'd never get something that we'd be happy with, that we could take better photos ourselves, etc. I think I can take a technically good photo, but I was in it for the studio's smile-inducing expertise that I somehow cannot match at home. Well, so much for that.

After lugging Liam back down to the other end of the mall and out to the parking lot, I realized we had forgotten one of Liam's favourite toys, Taco Bell Dog, at the studio. Taco Bell Dog says Rrrrrrrrrrow when you squeeze it and was my surefire, failproof method of getting Liam to smile (ha!) So back to the studio we went. By this time there was another baby in there getting their picture taken. This baby was dressed in a pumpkin costume and had that corny painted 'fall' backdrop behind her and fake little leaves scattered all about, and was laughing and smiling away. Far from being corny, it was really cute. And that made it all too much to bear. I felt like a failure.

So this is it - Liam's 'official' six month portrait. Taken Thursday afternoon, at home in the nursery. With him smiling at the floor. No gums visible. No fancy backdrop, just toys scattered about and ugly bathroom wallpaper visible behind him. I do see the value in a photo like this - such an accurate representation of Liam at this time in his life, where and how he spends his time, what he looks like, the pose he strikes most often. There is something to be said for that.