Is it too late to change my mind?

Yesterday I made my weekly trip to see Dr. Bailey. I was hoping to find out that I am one of those people who is walking around half-way dilated already so that when it's time, it's all short and sweet. Nope. I just don't think I am ever destined to be one of those people (though if there is a secret to it, I swear I would pay you money for it). But... I did find out that I am in the exact same situation I was when I went into labour with Liam, as far as the baby's position etc. goes. (I have even lost a couple of pounds since my last appointment, which is the same thing that happened with him). Dr. Bailey's guess (though I know that these things are notoriously wrong) is that Little Miss will clock in at 7.5 pounds, and she'll be here before this time next week.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack. Is it wrong that this scares me so much?

Lately I have been thinking that we have it pretty good. Liam is just the best little guy we could ask for. I know every parent says that, but he just seems so uniquely right for us. I have really enjoyed spending my time with him again this week like we used to (this is him at March Break craft time at the library); only now, he can walk, he can talk, he asks a million questions and tries to engage me in everything he does... all is well. Life is good.

There's also the not-so-minor issue of knowing that he has ten fingers and ten toes, he can walk, he can talk... there are no guarantees for tomorrow, but for now he's a healthy dude. Those things are still very unknown with respect to Little Miss. It's a daunting prospect.

It feels a little like we're pushing our luck to expect it to turn out all over again. There's the possibility that #2 will be a tough addition, either in and of herself, or in how she interacts with Liam... a lot of changes coming this way. It didn't feel so iffy when it was Liam we are talking about. This time, I have a lot more what ifs running through my head.

On top of that, I had a couple of contractions last night... and a few more this morning... nothing like that feeling to drive home the reality of what's about to happen.

I know things would feel incomplete without a #2 someday; I just have this odd if-it-ain't-broke-don't-fix-it mentality right now that I can't seem to shake. Ah well. I think we are past the point of no return.