It all comes down to this: You suck

This is the message that I get, day after day after day. From just about everyone who has ever had kids. Thankfully, our parents/families have stayed out of it (at least thus far; perhaps it's a fear of us witholding visitation rights that have led them to bite their tongues!) But it seems that everyone else considers themselves to be The World Authority On Parenting, and Chad and I are sorely lacking the skills needed to ensure Liam makes it to age 18 in one piece.

When we were out to dinner on Friday night, Chad was telling me about a discussion he'd just had with an acquaintance about our similarly-aged children. The topic of discussion was infant sleeping patterns, which, let's be honest, is on our minds about 95% of the time these days. Chad and the acquaintance exchanged stories about strategies and bedtime routines and parenting philosophies. He informed me that the acquaintance believes that letting Liam cry it out is cruel, and that we put him to bed way too early.

This got me thinking about all of the sage advice I've received over the last few months. Back in the beginning, when Liam wanted to be held all the time, I had another friend tell me I was crazy for indulging him and that it's OK to just let him cry. In other words, I am way too soft on him. Now here's someone else telling us that we are far too strict. It seems that no matter what you do, someone out there is going to tell you that you're doing it all wrong.

The criticism is not just limited to sleep issues, of course. I'm also told that the way we feed Liam is all wrong. Breastfeeding is gross, or unneccessary, or too much work. He should have started solids months ago. By Thanksgiving, he should be eating a plate exactly like mine. (Of course, Liam doesn't help matters any with the withering glares I get when I eat anything within his sight.) Diapering? Again, a bad choice there - cloth is no good, and on those occasions that we do use disposables, we really ought to try Huggies, as they are far superior to Pampers. And if this sounds bad, just imagine some of the discussions that ensue when topics arise such as infant circumcision, stay at home moms versus work outside the home moms, public schools versus private schools... things will only get worse from here on out.

Basically what it boils down to is that we just can't win. No matter what we do, we'll be doing it wrong. Which could be a bit of a blow to the ego, but I just tell myself that these people are all incompetent and insane, which is probably true about 80% of the time anyway. I don't know why total strangers feel the need to try to push us around like this - I mean, does it really keep them up at night if Liam is fed six times a day instead of five? Why are they so interested? I find my own child fascinating, but I don't expect the rest of the world to.

I admit that there is a time and place for everything, including advice. I don't know if we would have read HSHHC without it being recommended by both Kelly and Derek. Now, we think it's one of the best things we've ever done. And I have been known (what new mother hasn't?) to call my mom and ask whether something Liam is doing is normal, or what she would do in a certain situation. And I am thankful for all the help that I have gotten.

Still, I will really try to keep my mouth shut as people we know go on to have more children in the future, at least unless I'm specifically asked about something. There's nothing like being on the receiving end of unwanted advice to make you want to run screaming whenever the topic arises. I promise not to shove my opinions down your throat. Really. Even if I am dead sure that you are messing up your kid in an irreparable way.

{Liam's new thing - sucking on his lip.}